My first video upload on VS

So today I posted my very first video on my fight with VS and the migraine - Here is the link http://yhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifoutu.be/7ou7GgcpMoo

I went to the Neuro Opth. today... he still thinks it's migraines. He wants me to take Elavil, but I am too scared. He did the normal steroid shots, this time getting my upper neck as well. I am pretty sore, but hope it helps. He still says I have occipital neuralgia as well....

I recently heard that Dr. at UCLA in California has signed on a Dr. from Germany to start the research on VS, and will hopefully lead to future studies. I am so happy about this and it really gives me a lot of hope!!

I have been going to church every Sunday to get my relationship back with God. It's tough when you have a condition that makes you feel so disconnected, but I will get there.

I am now working part time to help with my headaches and stress levels in hopes that I might have a breakthrough and my VS lessen or disappear. As of now it's been me running around to collect Dr.'s notes and medications prescribed from 2006 to see if there is a connection somehow with a medication I was put on them when my wonky subtle symptoms started.

Some days I feel sorry for myself... especially when I see other people my age with a child and they are having fun with no limits. I miss that. My light sensitivity is so severe I can't drive at night. When my son gets of age to start sports I won't be that mother on the sideline cheering.... unless, God willing, I get better.

I am still thinking about getting my thyroid taken out to see if it helps with anything... the medication for the graves disease is such a harsh medication and taking it for 10 + years is awful.

That's all for now!!!

Anxiety..... rearing it's ugly face at 12 am

I haven't had anxiety this bad in a long time. I used to get bad anxiety in my teens and would crawl in to bed with my mom while she helped me through it. I don't have here anymore and no one else understands what I am going through. My son is sleeping peacefully in his room and my husband is asleep in our bed. I keep feeling like I can't breathe and want to go to the hospital. I have been waking up out of breath lately and fear that I have sleep apnea as it's getting worse and worse. Part of me says go to the hospital, but the other part says no. I don't want to die!!!! Why am I going through all of this hell??? I am a mother and a wife... I want to be just that... not a young woman going through all of this. It isn't fair to my husband and son, it just isn't fair!

I've had to take kolonopin, which I hate taking, and it's making me tired, but not helping with the not getting a breath bit. If this doesn't go away by 1:00 am I think I am going to go to the hospital. Usually my anxiety is the mind racing bit, not the I can't breathe bit, so I am pretty scared.