Doubts

So I wake up this morning with self doubt. I thought I was getting past this and had a lot of hope after talking with Katy and her having had ALL of my symptoms. It's easier for me to say, Yes this is related to a hole in my heart which I was born with. Yes the dr's were wrong that it closed 23 years ago and that I had symptoms my whole life, but never caught on. Yet all I can think about are the hundred + others who do not have migraines. Do they have a hole in their heart? I dunno! I recommend anyone with these symptoms to check that out. Demand a TEE immediately after all other tests most dr's order come back negative.

Why do I have this self doubt? Because Wednesday is my appointment and instead of focusing on the test coming back that there is a hole in my heart, a voice in my head is saying it won't be there. Why do I hurt myself like this? I guess because I feel like for the past year and 1/2 my life has been hell. From the moment my mother passed, then having my son and being left to raise him feeling this way. My hope had been smashed in to a billion tiny pieces and somehow I managed to collect a few pieces, but not all of them. I need to stay strong and have hope for a positive outcome. If I can't be strong, how can I convince others to stay strong when they are going through this???

Lord help me!