Finding the silver lining

MUSIC - I wrote a very long detailed post about finding the silver lining in life with an illness. I decided to erase it. My silver lining isn't going to be YOUR silver lining so there is no point in me rambling on about my love for Music, but I will tell you that it has re-awoken something inside of me that I haven't felt in years. Music has the ability to bring back memories so much that you can mentally relive them and physically sense them. In alzheimers patients there have been some fascinating results with playing music through a set of headphones and it bringing back the patients for minutes to hours at a time. I use music to bring me back. Music is helping me find the silver lining in my walk with this illness.

WRITING - What you are thinking everyday.... the pain you feel, the silent war that is going on in your head.... let it out. Write it down or type it out. Keep it to yourself or post it on a blog for all of the world to see... just don't leave it caged up confined to a secret folder buried in your frontal lobe... it's not doing any good there. And who gives a shit what you say? Either someone will read it and like it, or they'll hate it... but at least it's out.

FRIENDS - I've lost most of my friends after this illness happened. They couldn't understand why I wasn't able to party with them anymore. Why I couldn't do the long distance trips for a night out. Some I lost because I was married and had a child and others I lost because they knew I changed. I was very young when this hit. I instantly became twice my age.... The good thing is I've gained quite a few friends along the way. Real friends. Genuine friends. These are people who understand what I am going through and still want to talk to me. People who know all about my dirty laundry and frontal lobe secrets and they still call me.

Finding the silver lining in your illness isn't always easy. Most of us are consumed with the 'what if's' and I totally get that. I am the first to raise her hand and admit that I am afraid of EVERYTHING since getting this stuff. My life consists of barriers that I have placed around myself. What I am protecting myself from, I have no idea, but I am learning that if you are scared of something then it means you need to do it in order to set yourself free. So... i'm finding the silver lining in my illness.... and you can too.