I usually don't get this down in the dumps anymore.... I mean sometimes I do, but usually my husband is here to console me or I just kind of suck it up and move on. My husband isn't here at the moment and I am just as blue as one can be. In light of the recent tinnitus stuff and me tapering off the lamotrigine I just don't know what to do anymore. Part of me says to give it another go and just see if the tinnitus happens again and if so then discontinue it and move on. BUT.... I am just facing the reality of this disorder.... there is NO cure! If I get even a little bit better with a certain medicine it's by chance. I am just feeling really down about my future. I can't look ahead to anything because I don't know where I will be then in terms of progression of this illness. Part of me feels like I would be better off not being here... I know that isn't rational and I would never hurt myself... it's just my broken brain. I can't help but look around me at all of the horrible people in this world who have no issues and here I am trying my hardest to function and wouldn't hurt a fly.... I just don't get it.
The brain is still a mysterious organ for us.... I just pray that soon there is an answer for me and a treatment....
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